Daddy’s baby Blog

What a wonderful feeling emanates from your entire body when your partner tells you those magic words “I’m pregnant”. This feeling lasts for roughly 12 weeks until your scan and once that day arrives and you have a little memento or your visit to the hospital to take home that’s roughly around the time the enormity of the whole occasion replaces the warm fuzzy feeling you have and fear then begins to replace it.This then intensifies immediately after your 20 week scan if you choose to find out the sex of your baby. Once you see that little picture of your baby growing the term “DAD” never rings so true and more so for me in knowing that we were having a baby boy.I thought I would share my experiences of my wife’s pregnancy from the fathers prospective.

There is no greater feeling than finding out that you are about to become a father and until you do it is something you cannot comprehend. I will never forgot one night away I went to the Grand National with my dad as I do ever year but this particular year it also incorporated my best friends stag party so the weekend was a particular heavy one. On the Saturday night we didn’t arrive back in our rooms until 4.30am to which I found my father sat at the end of his bed with a worried look on his face. I asked him why he wasn’t asleep to which he replied that he was worried that I hadn’t returned to our room. I replied that I was 30 years old and could take care of myself and he was silly for being so worried. His response was “Your my boy and I will never stop worrying about you and one day I will know exactly how he feels”. I most certainly do now.

As the months develop during pregnancy , baby boy names were at the fore front of our thoughts and due to many arguments, I feel that there are a few things that you need to know that are not written in many books. I thought I would share my experiences so it may help you with yours.

My first piece of advice would be make sure you have a comfortable couch as you will need it. I don’t think there is a bed big enough in the world that can accommodate your pregnant wife and yourself and if there was I can guarantee that she will want to sleep on the side you are sleeping.

I have been a very keen albeit with limited skill cricketer and as the due date became closer as you would imagine you priorities change and sadly I had to stop playing on a weekend as it would normally take up the whole day and including travelling to away games it was not feasible any more. However I decided to take up golf and with beginner sets very reasonably priced I quickly became addicted and with 9 hole courses and driving ranges readily available and you can allow your time accordingly. As I still need  my cricketing fix there are plenty of games involving England and County games if you feel like a treat.

With the due date fastly approaching you will notice your partner having naps and going early to bed a lot more regularly. For me this was a perfect time to play on my PS3 and catch up on the latest games without feeling guilty and also a great was of passing the time as I was so excited. It is also the time when you should be thinking about what you want to put into your hospital bag. Chances are you will be on the birthing ward for quite a few hours so make sure you have plenty of drinks and snacks to keep you going.

When the wonderful occasion finally arrives you must be prepared for the biggest test of being a newly crowned father, Leaving mum and baby in the hospital overnight for the very 1st time. There is nothing more heart wrenching than after watching your partner in absolute agony for hours upon end to then witness one of life’s greatest pleasure to then have to leave and go home on your own knowing you have a whole night on your own full of worry and excitement to come. Try and sleep if you can, I know it sounds like obvious advice but putting it into practice is harder than it sounds.

Once your family is home prepare to become a tea and coffee making machine, You will know doubt have every member of both your families come and visit the baby and probably some that you didn’t even remember you had so make sure you have plenty of biscuits in and don’t be too polite. If your all tired tell them to leave, it’s the only chance in life you get to be rude and you can get away with it. After a couple of weeks your hot beverage skills will no longer be needed and you will have to go back to work. Again this is another one of those moments you need to prepare yourself for. You have has 2 weeks as a family getting to know your baby watching it grow and growing yourself as a family when you are going to have to give it all up and leave mum and baby again but this time you will be safe in the knowledge that your baby is at home with your partner and all the visitors and the days out they will have together and their friends taking life easy and enjoying themselves while your at work like a chump safely in the very jealous knowledge that your baby is learning new things and you pretty much get to miss out on all of them.

This timely gets me to the subject of bickering. You can imagine days and weeks of interrupted sleep, hours spent at work missing all the wonderful experiences your baby is having even though your partner seems to think that while your at work your having a break from the baby while having the time of your life. In reality you must face a very real truth. You know you come second best, before we conceived we were accustom to weekends away together and apart with your friends and very often spontaneous days/nights out. All this has now gone out of the window any little pattern or routine you had as a couple has been replaced by baby baby baby and quite rightly so. However you both need to realise that your both tired your both jealous of certain aspects of your day to day parenthood with means as the father try to be as hands on a possible you helped create the baby therefore you have an equal say on the development of your baby and the daily routine.

With this in mind I think its essential that you have your own father baby time whatever and wherever it may be. You need to spend some quality time alone with the baby to help you bond and more importantly giving mum so time to rest and also time apart so she can appreciate how hard it is for you to leave your baby for any length of time. If you mange to achieve this when the time comes it is of the most vital importance that you both have some time away from your baby even if it’s just for a drink so you can reconnect as a couple again even though I can guarantee you will spend the whole time taking about your baby. Absence defiantly makes the heart grow fonder and  you will be so excited to get back to see your child. I think it’s also important to have some time away with your friends just to switch off from being a parent even though it is always in the back of your mind.

Being a father is very emotional but don’t forget its also very physical on your partner so birthday’s and mothers day become very important so that you can show your wife/mum that they are loved.

Harrods

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Comments

  1. SAHMlovingit says:

    I think every new Dad will be able to relate to this. Thank you for sharing for the Britmums Carnival :)

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